[ Vehicles Passing ]
- It's all right, Vince. It'll pick up. - [ Mouthing Words ]
- We'll have a big night. - Okay.
[ Man ] Heg, gour mother's ass!
Vince, you see they get seated, huh?
Are you looking for us? Huh? Come on in.
[ Man ] Okay.
Goddamn it. The stupid son of a bitch.
Hasn't learned yet.
[ Sighs ]
Cosmo. You think l left the cash at the table?
- l just wanted to thank you. - For what?
- It's been seven years. That's a long time. - Ah.
For me and you.
[ Man ] Got one last payment to go.
- [ Audience Cheering ] - [ Man _n P.A. ] _i, ho, Silver, away!
You were wonderful, Teddy.
Let's hear it For him, Iadies and gentlemen - Mr. Sophistication.
- .h,.__ [ Bass Qrum Hit ] - [ Light Applause ]
Ladies and gentlemen...
Mr. Sophistication and his De-Lovelies will be along in a moment.
My name is Cosmo Vittelli.
l'm the owner of this joint.
l, uh, choose the numbers...
l direct them, l arrange them.
You have any, uh, complaints, you just come to me, and l'll throw you right out on your ass.
- [ Man ] Let's get on with ít. - U_, Mr. Sop_istication...
- [ Man #2 ] Bring on the girls! - wants to assure you that he's intact, Iadies and gentlemen.
- [ Man #1 ] Get it going! - His gun is firm and intact.
And as a matter oF fact, he's about to take you on a sentimental journey...
- to Vienna... - .h,.__ [ _rum Hits ]
where you will attend one ofthe most glamorous balls...
ever given. ..
by any king, queen, count or baron.
Mr. Sophistication, ladies and gentlemen.
.__._: [ Trumpet flourish ]
[ App_ause 5
Am l late?
[ Cosmo ] Is it all right?
You know it's all right. It's all there.
You want to count it again?
Nah.
Cosmo, you're a prince.
Now you can go out and work for yourself.
Marty, you're a lowlife.
No offense...
but you have no style.
l don't ever want to see you again.
Don't push it.
Asshole.
- r Engine Sta_s ] - l think there's a bar on the next corner. Uh...
on the right.
[ Chattering ]
[ Woman Laughing ]
Uh, miss, may l have a scotch and water?
- r Woman J Tall? - Tall, please.
.\_.\ [ Ba(lad On Jukebox ]
.__ l've been pointed out by people ._:
.__ Mv name is mud ._:
.__ l've been dreaming all the dreams ._:
.__ And dancing in the evening ._:
- .__ Singin' in the shower.__ - r Woman ] Will you get out ofhere.
.__ But nothing seems .h:
- .h To take your p(ace ._: - [ Mouthing Words ]
.__ l'm almost ín (ove with vou ._:
.__ l nearly miss you ._:
.__ l've hardly seen you ._:
.__ When l do, l get._:
.\_ A feeling that.?_
.?_ Something should be .?_
, \_ There .\_,h_,
What are you lookin' at?
l got a golden life.
- Got the world by the balls. - You think so?
That's right. l'm great.
[ Sighs ] l am amazing.
Ah, you're getting slow, Lamarr. Beat you again,
[ Lamarr ] Oh, for - Where's your class?
[ Cosmo ] Style, not class.
- May we help you? - Yeah.
- Hey, my name is Cosmo Vittelli. l came to pick up Shery. - She's inside.
- She's dressing. - She's getting ready.
- [ Woman ] You're amu(ly cute. - Ah, well, you're not so bad yourself.
Yeah. r Chuckles ]
Ah, here she is.
Hi. You look wonderful.
- Thank you vey much. - [ Women ] _ave a nice time.
- Thank you vey much. Good night. - [ All ] Good night.
Here. Let me put this on you.
Here we go.
Right here, hmm?
Uh, Lamarr, you know how to do this?
Oh, yeah. l know all about this.
Have some champagne.
- Spill. You're spilling on my shoe. - Oh. Sory, sweetheart.
- Wait a minute. Hold it. - Okay.
Mmm.
Got all those tiny little bubbles in there.
- Lamarr. - r Car Door Opens ]
- Got another customer for ya. - Oh, good.
- Let me put this on you. - Get her in the car.
There you go. How's that look? That looks awfully nice.
Yes, thank you.
All set?
[ Cosmo 5 Yeah. Go ahead, For Christ's sake.
- [ Engine Sta_s ] - Lamarr, l thought you were an expert at this.
- Well, l at least got the pin in. - [ Woman ] Ríght.
Don't spill it.
- There you go. - Watch it.
- [ Mumbles ] - Hand me thatthing. l smell cigars.
No, it stinks like pe_ume in here already.
- No. - Give me that.
Oh, how lovely.
Thank you.
- Betty, why aren't you dressed? _ _e(lo.
Well, she doesn't want me to go with you.
What do you mean she doesn't want you to go?
Mom understands. l want to be alone with you.
- Why are you being so nasty? - l'm not.
Most wondemul mommy in the world.
That's what you are - the most wonde_ul mommy in the world. Yeah.
We can all go out another time.
She knows l love her.
- Oh. l got somethin' For ya. - Oh, yeah?
Oh, thank you. What's this? Flowers?
- Open it up. - Mom, a red orchid. It matches my dress.
Oh, thank you, darling.
[ Woman ] Isn't he the most wonde_ul man?
- l'll be right out. - Okay.
Oh. Thank you.
Mmm. Ty it on.
- l like this. - Put it on. Put it on. We gotta go.
- Thank you. Bye-bye. - Bye, Mom,
Have a nice evening.
.?_ l'm not particularly greedy in life .?_
.\_ Give it to me this way or that.?_
. \_ It doesn't matter if life is fair.?_
.__ It's got to be there ._:
.__ l just want my share .__._:
[ Woman ] Oh, well.
[ Shery ] I feel like a shill sittíng around here doing nothing.
[ Woman 5 Yeah, real(y. Oid you see that guy at that poker table ín the back giving me the eye?
- r Shery J J can't take it anymore. - [ Woman ] Great.
[ Woman ] Well, we can't stay in here all night. You know what l mean?
All right, you guys. Let's go. Come on, Come on.
Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Just a minute.
Come on. No one's noticing your face. They're looking at your tits, and they're looking at your ass.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
That's your line, honey, not mine.
l got more to o_er than that.
- A lot more. - Yeah, yeah, Okay. Let's go.
- Sure, l do. - Let's go. Let's go.
l'm ready for this. l'm ready.
l'm ready to go.
[ Cosmo J ( need more chips.
[ Man ] l pass.
- [ Cosmo I Hey. - Cost you _50.
Yo. What's your name?
- Vic. -Yeah,willyoutellthecommodore tocomeoverhere,please?
- [ Vic ] Sure. - [ Man ] Costyou _50 ifyou care to play.
Cost you _50.
He raised you _50. He did.
_50. I'm in.
[ Man #2 ] l'm ín.
[ Man #3 ] Fifty and 40O.
[ Man #1 ] He raised it 400. 400 to you ifyou care to play.
- Costs _80O. - [ Cosmo t No, no, no. Wait a minute.
- 45O if cosfs me. - [ Man #_ ] No, no, no. 850.
lt's gone up 400. It costs you 400 ifyou care to see it.
[ Man #3 ] Call the 40O, and l raise it four. That's _800.
- [ Cosmo ] Uh, listen, uh - - Plus _400.
l'm gonna need more credit.
l'm sory, Mr. Vittelli. No more credit.
- Cost you $800. - [ Cosmo ] l know it costs 800!
Wait a minute, will ya? What are you tying to do, embarrass me?
[ Man #4 ] l'm sory. No.
- Well, can l have the credit, or can't l? - l'm sory. There's no more.
Well, then let me see Mr. Weil. Go get him, will ya?
[ Cosmo ] The man said l could have unlimited credit.
Unlimited credit? l never heard of such a thing. What do you mean ''unlimited credit''?
[ A(l Laughing ]
You.
Sory For the inconvenience, Folks. We're runnin' a little late this morning.
The bar's open. Enjoy yourself. Relax.
We won't be long.
[ Man ] Hey. Come on back.
Check those to me. [ Laughs ]
- Sit down, Doc. - Oh.
- [ Man ] Who are you? - [ Man #2 ] Just another successful night at the table, huh, Lei(a?
[ Man#1 ] l said, who are you?
[ Man #3 J l'm - l'm Robert Starkey. Dr. Robert Starkey.
- l'm a (riend of Or. Weiner's. - [ Man M ] What kínd of a doctor are you?
A urologist. Does that matter?
A uro(ogist. In medical circles, _e's a p(umQer.
- Exactly correct. - [ Man #_ ] You oughta go take a leak.
- [ Leila ] Bob. - You oughta be a little respectful of anyone's profession, especially mine.
Bob.
- [ Man #2 ] You got a big c(ientele, Doc? - [ Starkey ] Just a second, Leila.
We're here to discuss a loss of $5,OOO this evening.
- [ Man ] Absolutely. - Dr. Weiner's - All right.
- l can handle that in 30 days. - Thirty days is not good enough.
- What is good enough? - Now.
- Bob. - l can't handle that now. Thirty days.
- Bob, you're making an idiot of yourself. - [ Man #1 ] Doctor.
- Leila, just take it easy. - They're not kidding.
- This isn't a game. - Dear. Stay calm. Stay -
These men can kill you, and theg can ki(l me.
- Just a second. Just a second. - [ Leila ] Wíll you get out!
[ Man #4 ] You just bought it, Qoc. Come on.
- Out! - All right, all right. Come on. Hands o_.
Uh, there's hope, there's hope, there's hope.
People who owe money. [ Hisses ]
That's the worst sin in the world. Here's to the biggest sin in the world -
people that owe money.
Darling, you don't have to wory about the cash...
but you do have to help us.
- [ _eíla ] l wi(l. - l wantyou to make your files available to us.
- [ Man ] Just for a short time. - This goddamn ring's onlyworth about _6OO.
No, that's worth _5,OOO.
lt's only worth 600 to us, dear.
[ Man Sighs ]
- Joe Beano. - Yes, sir?
- Come with me, please. - Okay, sir.
[ Man Sighs ] \ La, da, dee, da, da-da, dee, da, da,\
This entourage of biscuits follow you wherever you go?
[ Man ] Ah, Mr. Vittelli. Gentlemen, this is Cosmo Víttelli.
- Care for a drink? - Uh, no, thanks.
May ( see your credit cards, p(ease?
And your driver's license?
- Uh, it's there. - [ Man ] Excuse me, Mort.
Who gave this gentleman credit?
Mr. Vittellí...
do you plan to pay your debt by check?
Well, l don't usually cary that kind of money in my bank.
You know, all the money l make...
l put back into the business.
And it's paying om handsomely.
Now, look, l intend to pay.
l'm not one oF those guys who consider a gambling debt just a piece of paper.
[ Man I l'm sure.
l'm sory for the...
Formality, but, uh, l'm gonna have to ask you to sign a couple of forms.
_23,OOO is a lot of money.
Uh, why don't we have that drink, girls?
l - l'd, uh - l'd be willing to pay for it. A round for eveybody.
No, no, no. Ladies, excuse me. l'm sory.
Please be seated. Just make yoursetves comfonable.
- Eddie, uh, let me have a Form 223 and a Form 17. - A_l right. Okap.
And a pen. No, no, no. You've got two iorm 17s.
- [ Eddie ] Oh, l'm sory. - Can l have a pen?
Yes. l'll get one to you in just a minute.
All ríght.
- And that's 17. - And a pen.
Thank you.
Okay. Mr. Vittelli, right here, please.
Okay. Again right here.
Vey good. Great.
Thank you vey much. l'm sory about all this...
but you're welcome back anytime.
- Thank you. - Ladies, please come again.
- Good day. - See ga, champ.
Thanks.
[ Mouthing Words ]
- [ Woman ] Where's my orchid? Oh. - Here.
- Thank you. - Get a good night's sleep.
- Good day's sleep. - [ Woman #2 ] See you.
Thank you. Good night.
Good morning.
- Thank you. - Why don't l walk you to your door?
Yes, please. Thank you.
So, what are we gonna do?
lt's all paper.
- Ce_ain(y has been a depressing evening aIl the way around, hasn't it? - Yes.
Be right back.
Aren't you gonna come in?
l think the thing to do is to get some cash and go back down there.
- Want me to come with you? _ Nah.
All right.
- Let's go to the club. - Okay.
Thank you, Lamarr.
- [ BiIJs Rustling ] - Thank you.
Nice and hot. You want me to fix it for you?
- No. - You going back to the place?
- Yeah. - You want me to audition foryou?
( can get Abe to sit in (or me.
There's not much ofa turnover at this hour ofthe morning.
Let me close this door.
Find the switch here. Damn thing never works.
Do you have a dressing room?
There's costumes over here.
This batch. Ty on anything.
l'm okay now. Thanks. Do you have any music?
Yeah, we got music.
- [ Switch Clicking ] - .,\._\ r Song Startíng, Stopping ]
.__._: [ Pop _allad ]
.\_ Rainy rie(ds of frost and magic.?_
.__ Morníng dew._:
. ?_ In late a_ernoon .?_
_ __ A(one l sit,h:
_ __ for a moment ,_:
.\: Lost in thought from when all the moon,\_,
.__._: [ Vocalizes ]
.__ And the twílight skies._:
.__ Bring sílent críes._:
.__ And tonight's moonrise ._:
- .__ fills my eyes .__ - [ Phone Ringing ]
.\_ l think l'll step inside to bui(d a _re .?_
- [ Ringing Continues ] - ,?, _ang up my coat and gloves ,?_
.__ Mmm, loving all change ._:
_ __ Winter desíre ,_:
.__.h_ [ Vocalizing ]
Okay, just walk up and down, will ya, so l can take a look at ya.
.__ And the amber light._:
No, you don't have to jump anymore, sweetheart. Just walk up and down.
_ __ from the cabín side ,_:
.\_ Outside tonight.?_
.__._: [ Vocalizes ]
.\_ Just a moment of peace Just me without you .\_,
.__ An understandíng that we share ._:
.__ Knowíng this ._:
Hey.
Come on over.
.__ There are things we must do._:
.__._: [ Vocalizes ]
.__ And still knowing this._:
.__ We really care ._:
.__ And when the time is right._:
Oh! Cut it out, will ya?
You stop it. Cut it out!
Goddamn it! Will you stop!
Cool it!
Just auditioning a girl, for Christ's sake!
Cut it out now.
- What's the matter with you? - ._ _ainy fields of (rost and magic.__
.__ Flowín' through a thought._:
.__ That ( just had ._:
[ Cosmo ] Son of a bitch.
.__ Just a place l see ._:
. ?_ Omin the desert.?_
. ?_ Far-o_, distant land .?_
.__ And the sun shines through ._:
.__ When l look at you ._:
.__ And all the things that you do._:
.__ Make today so right._:
.__.h_ [ Vocalizing ]
- Open your mouth. - .\_.\_ [ fades ]
Here it comes. Open your mouth.
- .?,.__ [ Piano _allad ] - .? As you live .__
. ?_ So do ( live .?_
.__ As you walk .__
- Come on. - ,? So do ( smile ,?_
.\_ As you are .\_,
Ah, this is bullshit.
[ Cosmo Sighs ]
. __ Who .__
.__ Who but you ._:
l'm a club owner.
_ \_ Could know ,?_
- l deal in girls. - ._ You're someone to me.__.__
[ Audience Applauding, Cheering ]
r Whístling ]
[ Man ] Yeah!
The owl and the pussycat went to sea...
in a beautiful...
pea-green boat.
[ Audience Laughing ]
Um -
Said the owl to the pussycat...
''Come with me to the Crazy Horse West...
and Mr. Fascination will take us to gay 'Pa-ree.'''
- I Cheering ] - ._.h_ [ Trumpet flourish ]
[ App_ause 5
Paris.
Pargi i to those oF you who are multilingual.
Let's not take a jet or an ocean liner.
But using your imaginations...
and with our humble efForts onstage here...
let's transport ourselves...
to that city on the Seine 9,OOO mile_ away.
The City oFLight, La Ville Lumière...
Paris.
[ Cheering, Applause ]
.__._: [ Trumpet ]
Hury ít up. Hury it up, gir(s.
Let's get the show on the road.
r npplause, Cheering ]
There you are.
# l can't give you ,_
-.h Anything but love,_ - [ Man ] Take it om!
-.h Baby,_ - [ W_istle Blows ]
Ooh. Excuse me, sir...
but l'm new here.
She certainly is.
Please, l have no money, no place to eat, no place to sleep.
Well, this must be the place.
[ Audience J Whoo! Whoo!
Beep, beept
- Beep, beep! Beep, beep! -.h That's the only thing :
# l've plenty of,\
._: Baby ._:
_ __ Qream awhile ,h:
_ \_ Scheme awhile ,?_
- [ Man I Take it o_! - [ Audience I Whoo! Whoo!
J \ You're sure to flnd ,\
# Happiness,\
# And l guess,\
-.h All the things.\ - [ Man ] Oh, yeaht
# You've always pined for,n,\
r Cheering ] Whoo!
r Man Whistles ]
Mademoiselle, uh...
does this brute - this beast bite?
Pardon?
Your dog, baby. Does, uh, this bomNow...
bite?
- No, he won't. - So, what does he do?
You comb her...
- you wash her... - And him?
- you feed her. - [ Audience ] Whoo!
That you do to a dog?
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ nudience Cheering, npp(auding ]
[ Man ] Turn us on, babes.
- .? They go wild .h, - [ Woman ] Oh, not again.
# Simply wild ,\
-,h Over me ,h - [ _oud Cheers ]
# When a lady asks for more,\
.h, ( say _ove, you getwhat for,__,
- More, will you? Give me it. More, more. - Oh, shut up.
- _ook what you have here. - ,h, They go wild, símply wild ,_:
- .h Theygo wild, veywild.h: - [ Loud C_eers ]
- ,? Over me ,\_,,? - [ Whistle ftlows ]
[ Tires Screech ]
[ Mort ] Hey, fella, you got a doorman?
- Yes, sír. Uh - - Get him, will ya?
- But you can't park here. We have a parking lot. - Right.
- You'll get a ticket. - Okay.
- Ifyou don't mind, l'll park it for you. - Cosmo Vittelli inside?
- Yes, sir. - Get him, will ya, fella?
- Sure. - Thank you.
Found us a valuable spot.
Uh,Mr.Vittelli there'ssomegentlemenoùtsideforyou.
- [ Vince ] Hey, go learn some manners. Get going. - Yes, sir.
.__.h: [ Man Whístling ]
Be right back, Sonny.
r Men Chattering ]
Oh.
Hey, Cosmo.
That's good. [ MumDles ]
You know my friends, the Santa Monica gentlemen.
John, Eddie, Phil.
Mort.
- [ Chattering ] - [ Mort ] Cosmo.
Yeah. Cosmo.
Vince, wait inside.
lfthere's any trouble, l'll be inside.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - [ Horn Honking ]
[ Eddie ] You've got a nice spot here, Mr. Víttelli.
Who do l talk to?
- [ Man 5 You talk to al( ofus. - At once.
- How are ya? - l'm fine, thanks.
Just wanted to drop by and say hi...
see how you were feeling.
- [ Eddie ] l, uh, have xerox copíes, John. - Yeah.
- Do you want me to give it to him? - No, give it to me.
Now, ('d like to ask you. What kind of a mortgage do you have? Fírst? Second?
- How are you covered? - Where do you get that kind of money?
23,OOO, besides what he took out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do you mean, ''what he took out''? What are you talkin' about?
- [ Phil ] Well. he cashed in some chips. - l _ashed a check.
- So you left with what? - No, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
( walked in wíth a thousand dollars, l left with nothing.
( lost it.
Just give me another beer, will ya? Thank you.
- Okay. - [ Phil ] Ah, he's all right.
We got this...
punk Chinese down in Chinatown.
We can't get him out...
'cause he's got these tough...
Chinese kids around him...
with the long sideburns and the Charlie Chan mustaches, you know.
Yeah.
They're all alike, you know. Vey belligerent, you know...
like in the war.
Right?
- Were you in the war? - Yeah, l was in the war.
- Ah, you know. You remember. - I Mort ] __ere?
- Korea. - Then you know.
Ever see any action?
- Little bit. - How much?
l killed a few people.
[ Phil ] How?
With an M1.
- [ Phil ] Oh, infanty. _ Yeah.
[ Phil ] Well, then you do know about 'em.
- Yeah, l know about the Oriental. - [ John ] That's wonde_ul.
Give me a cigarette, will ya?
So you have killed gooks.
ln the war.
Yeah. That's what l'm talkin' about.
l'm not talkin' about killing Japs now.
- l'm talking about your experience. - r Man Scons, Hísses J
- What are we doin' an_ay? - [ Eddie ] Take it easy.
This guy is into us for a lot of money.
That's what we're talkin' about.
And this is why we're here talking.
You know, to figure out some way for you to reduce your debt.
You see, what we need you for is this.
We got a little problem down there, and you can help us out a lot.
See, and that's whatwe're here to talk about, you know.
Some way that you can reduce the debt.
l'm sory, boys. Uh -
lF you want me to kill somebody, uh, you got the wrong guy.
- No, no, no. - l may be dumb, but l'm not a fool.
- [ Phil ] Nobody said you were a fool. - l think l understand.
- Mort, did you say he was a fool? - l think l understand.
- John? Nobody's calling you a fool. - Look, look. l'm a club owner.
l took a place from nothing and made it into something.
l've been shylocked up to here!
l pay my debts!
You did a hell of a job.
[ Phil ] Seriously, how much do you make in that place?
- What's the actual take? - Come on. l don't have those answers.
- What do you mean? - Because l don't have the figures.
- It's a reasonable question. - Why not? You gotta give us figures.
- [ Chattering ] - How do we know what you do ifyou don't give us figures?
- [ Mo_ 5 Fellas, for Christ's sake. Hold it! - l'm an accountant. l got to get figures.
My family had no money. l had to walk to school. l was afraid evey morning l walked to school.
l know the boys.
They come to my place.
l keep my mouth shut. l turn my back.
But, uh, to get ínvo(ved, uh -
- So, you don't want to get involved. - That's right. l don't want to get involved.
[ Eddie ] But the money you want.
Ah, look, if it's something - You have to count me out.
( don't even buy líquor from San Francísco.
l'm, uh - You know, l'm - l deal with merchants...
uh, butchers, bakers, milkmen.
What the hell are we doing? He owes us money, lost money on the casino.
Let him pay. Let him pay.
l'd like to reduce the debt, but, uh...
not get rid of it.
[ Phil ] So, what you want to do is reduce the debt but not get rid of it.
- That's right. - [ John ] By how much?
_1o,ooo.
Okay.
- You want to reduce the debt _1 O,OOO. - Yeah.
This is it.
He loves beautiful girls.
You got beautiful girls.
Take the girls down to Chinatown...
find him.
lntroduce the girls to hím.
(nvite hím up to yourc(ub.
For _10,OOO it's a deal.
[ Eddie ] Mr. Vittelli, trust us.
[ Chattering ]
Hey, Rach.
l'm hot.
lt's hot down here.
[ Chattering ]
I'm not hungy. Give me some, uh...
Coca-Cola.
Let's do somethin'.
What do you want to do?
- Want to go to a movie? - Let's go to a movie.
- A Chinese movie? - Chinese movie. Why not?
Get out of this heat, get into some air-conditioning, huh?
- [ Cosmo ] All right. Enough. We've seen three pictures. - [ Blows Landíng, Yelling J
- Ah, here it is. Here it is. - Where's my purse?
[ Cosmo ] l got it.
[ _(ows Landing, Yelling ]
Here we go, Come on. Let's go, girls. Here we go.
- Jesus Christ. It's night. Here. Here's your hat. - Oh.
Lamarr, why didn't you come in and get us?
- Oídn't want to disturb you. - What time is it?
- It's late. - Of course it's late.
The show, for Christ's sake. Let's get in here. Come on, girls.
Come on.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's go, for Christ's sake.
Let's go.
[ Rachel Giggles ] Heg. You're gonna make me -
Come on.
-,h,,h: [ Teddy Singing ] - [ Cosmo ] Quiet. Quiet.
- .h, Many a heart is .h: - Hold it.
- .h, 8reakíng .h - [ Imitates HeartDeat ]
.\_ Ifyou could read them al( .?_
- What the hell kind of number is that? - .h_ Mang the hopes .__
- ,_: That have vanished ,__ - ''After the Ball Is Over.'' The ball is just beginning here.
- Go on and get dressed. l never want to see that song in the show again. - ,_ ARer the ba(l,?,
lt's a strip joint. Nobody takes their clothes om, for Christ's sakes.
- [ Woman ] ,\ After de ball is over.n,\ - [ Woman #2 ] Take ít away, Fí_.
This show is going so bad, maybe l should take a/l my clothes o_.
- [ Cheering, Whistling ] - .h:.__ [ County ]
Cosmo.
- Hey, Mort. How are ya? - Ah.
Didn't find him, did ya?
Nah. l didn't want to find him.
- l don't understand. - [ Women Hol(ering ]
l don't want to reduce the debt.
- You don't? - No.
What do you want to do?
Well, l owe you money, l'll pay ya.
- Step outside. - l'm busy. l'll see you in a few minutes.
Please, do yourself a favor.
l mean, you know / like you.
Do yourself a favor and step outside.
Okay, Mort.
[ App_ause 5
.__ Eveybody's talkin' ._:
.__ Eveybody's walkin' ._:
. __ Back .__
.__ Eveybody's talkin' ._:
.__ Eveybody's walkin' ._:
. __ Back .__
[ Horns Honking ]
.__._: [ Continues In Distance ]
- [ Grunting ] - [ Cosmo Groaning ]
[ Speaking Italian ]
Che bello.
[ Patting Leg ]
[ Phíl I Give ít to hím.
[ Glove Compa_ment Opens ]
You know how to load it?
We got a .38 and a .45.
The .45, if nothing else, you can put in your waistband.
.35 is good. It's nice. There's something about it. But this puts a whole -
You see?
[ Phi( ] Yeah, but there's no chance of a jam with that .3_ revolver.
We're gonna let you make the decision, because, after all, you're making the hit now.
- Yeah. - In my opinion, if l were you - if l was in your shoes - l'd take both.
- Go ahead. - l'll take the .45. l'm used to it.
All right, Cosmo.
Oh, we, uh, borrowed a car. It's parked behind us.
Yeah.
lt's, uh, real hot.
There won't be an alert out for an hour or two.
[ Mort ] Take a look at it, so you know what you're dríving.
lt's automatic.
lt's running on a wire, so don't stall it. There's no key.
Cosmo.
You see this?
You know where the Laurel Ventura Freeway is?
- Yeah. - You go over Laurel.
Two blocks on the other side of the Valley, past Ventura Boulevard.
Stay to your right. Under the bridge, you get on.
Stay on that till you get to Rossmore.
Get oH at the Rossmore exit, go east till you come to Philbin.
lt's on the map.
Park the car, walk seven blocks.
Here's the book. (t's all marked.
Here's the key.
Now, we got it from the locksmith who put the Chinaman's locks in.
We know it works.
[ Mort I For the back stairs only, Cosmo.
And you gotta stop oH at a joint and buy some beef.
Got three dogs.
[ John ] You cou(d buy 12 hamburgers.
[ Mort ] Don't put mustard on 'em eít_er.
[ John ] And no pickle or thev - or ketchup.
And don't put any onions on 'em.
[ Phíl ] _e's an old man. _e sleeps alone.
There's an A-Frame house in front ofthe big p(ace.
Got a lot of guards living there.
- [ Cosmo I The guards live in the A-frame? - Ríght.
Yeah. There's always somebody wandering.
Sometimes two outside.
They're quick... and quiet.
[ John ] And there are líghts, and there are trip wires, aren't t_ere?
[ Mort ] Only in the front of the dríveway.
- In the front ofthe driveway. - [ John ] Take a taxicab back.
[ Phil ] Wipe the gun clean and throw it away. It can't be traced.
[ John ] Give him the markers. Let him examine the markers.
[ Eddie ] Al( right.
Mr. Vittelli, you want to check these?
That's the original copy.
That was our receipt.
You owed us _23,OOO.
[ Phi( ] You can tear it up ifyou want to.
Go ahead.
[ Engine Revs ]
[ Phil J No traMc violations.
r Phil ChuckJes ]
- [ Loud Bang ] - [ Tires Squeal ]
[ Horn Honks ]
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Horn Honking ]
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Tires Screeching ]
[ Horn Honks ]
[ Trunk Rattling ]
[ Horn Honking ]
[ _og Barking ]
Yeah. Yellow Cab, uh...
l'm at the corner of, uh, Genesee and Pitts.
Uh, well, it's the, uh, Economy Self-Serve.
Well, it's the Economy Self-Serve.
My name is, uh, Ted Byron.
Uh, well, l'll be right here.
Right. l'm not goin' anmhere.
Sonny. How's it goin'?
Well, who's onstage?
Margo and Shery?
Why are only two girls onstage? Where's Teddy?
He, uh, just came on.
All right. Well, what's he singin'?
What song is he singin', Sonny?
But how can that be - Sonny.
How can that be the song with only two girls onstage?
Uh - Sonny.
Who's this?
Vince. Vince, l can't understand Sonny. Wh-Wh - Who's onstage now?
The - The - The, uh - The - The short girl.
Margo Donnar, right? And the tall girl.
Right. Shery. Yeah.
And, uh - What - What number is it?
ls it the Paris number?
The Paris number. For Christ's sake. You've been at the place seven years...
you don't know what the Paris number is?
Well, are there signs on the wall? P-A-R -
The Paris number.
Are there letters on the wall that say P-A-R -
There's another card that says ''moon.''
Well, what's he singing?
ls it ''l Can't Give You Anything but Love, Baby''?
# l can't give you ,_
# Anything but love,_
; 8aby ;;
[ Tires Screech ]
l'm the one who called ya.
- Where you goin', pal? - Downtown.
- l mean, where downtown? This is a pretty big city. - l'll tell you when we get there.
Look, mister, l don't like to take anybody in the cab that doesn't know where he's goin'.
Well, l know where l'm goin'. l, uh, just don't know the address.
- All right. You call it out when we get down there. - Yeah, okay.
[ Woman J Sure. fine. fine.
[ Pinbal( Machine Rattlíng, Dínging ]
- You wanted 12 hamburgers to go, right? - That's right.
- Well-done, right? - That's right.
- l even had them individually wrapped for you. - No, no. No, that's wrong.
- You didn't want 'em individually wrapped? - No. l - l -
l don't want 'em wrapped. l want 'em all together.
My wife hates waste. Uh, paper comes from trees.
She hates that. She can't even throw the garbage out.
- Just do what l tell you, will you? - But -
- l want 'em all together. - But you can't put 12 hamburgers in a brown paper bag.
- l mean, you're gonna ruin it. - That's the way l want it.
Okay. Your hamburgers.
[ Man ] Her husband died last year. You know, you get angy.
Get lonely.
Sometimes it always goes like that, don't it?
l know. Believe me, l know.
Hey, look, man. l'm really sory. l -
l thought maybe you were lonely. l thought maybe you had a problem.
- l didn't really mean anything. - It's all right.
[ Man 5 Sue. Sue, listen. Lísten. It's al( right.
l toJd him. You dídn't mean anything. l told hím.
Hamburgers!
- Hey, you got a cigarette? - Yeah.
All right. Thanks.
[ Paper Bag Rustling ]
[ Man Speaking Korean ]
[ Korean ]
[ Woman And Man Speaking Korean ]
[ Child ] Whee!
[ Chattering In Korean ]
[ Clock Ticking ]
[ Man Speaking, Indistinct ]
[ Man Speaking Chinese ]
[ Chinese ]
.__.h: [ Man Whístling ]
r Water SJoshes ]
#,m [ Whistling ]
._\.\: [ Whistling Continues ]
('m real bad.
- [ Cocks Gun ] - Real bad.
l'm so sory.
r Water SJoshes ]
r Dog Barks In Dístance ]
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
[ Door Opens ]
[ _og Barking ]
[ Man J Go check it out.
[ Man ] _alt!
[ Gunshot ]
- Come on, dudes. - Man, l ain't goin' up there.
Come on.
Damn, Eddie. Get that dog.
- r Gunshot ] - Let's go.
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
[ Coin Jingles ]
Taxi!
Go straight. Then l'l( tell gou where to go.
- [ Cosmo ] What is that, a movie house there? - [ Man ] Yeah. Right.
Yeah, well, uh, l fee( (ike a movie. Stop here, wi(l ya?
Okay.
- This aIl right here? - Yeah.
- There you go. - _ey, thanks a (ot. Apprecíate ít.
You on duty?
Oh!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
[ Breathing Heavily ]
What happened?
Oh, my God.
Mom, you gotta call me a cab.
- No. - l have to get to the club.
No, you stay home. Mom'll take care of you.
A Peruvian. A Peruvian, uh...
shepherd named Bruno said, ''This about love l do know.
r Woman J Thank you. Mine was -
''A woman is fine, a sheep is divine...
but a Ilama is numero uno.''
r Woman ChuckJes ]
- [ Mo_ ] Marty, how are ya? - [ Martg ] _i, Mort.
[ Mort ] Good to - Jesus Christ. Good to see ya.
- [ Marty ] _aving a party? - Yeah. A little celebration. Some Friends ín From New York.
Clare Benoit, Mickey, uh, Noeaux and Mike.
- Clare Benoit? - EUR Man ] Yeah.
- This is Ingrid. - [ Clare ] Pull up a chair.
Please. And Alvinia l'm sure you remember.
Hi.
Listen, Mort, l just heard on the radio that something happened down there at the Chinaman's.
Sounded like a real bloodbath - people hollering and screaming all over the place.
- [ Clare J Oh, mp God. - [ Mort ] What happened?
l don't know. l didn't hear all the details. They had a reporter doing an on-the-spot number.
[ C(are ] Was it a tong war?
l don't know, but the way he said it there was aDout 25 squad cars there.
There was some asshole that went up and just started shooting. Kids too.
[ Clare ] Who's the Chinaman, Mort?
Uh, downtown - a guy in import-export.
- Did you know him? - Yeah.
Yeah, uh - Do you want a drink?
Well, l'm sure you'll excuse me.
- l have to meet someone over there. - Well, come back, okay?
Nice seeing ya. Sory about - you know.
- That's okay. - But come back, okay?
Good night, Alvinia.
[ Clare ] What's the matter? Don't you like him?
- Oh, he's sweet. - [ Clare ] He's a nice guy. He's a nice-lookin' guy.
- [ Clare J Js he a nice guy? - [ Alvinia ] Mmm.
Notice how upset he was about that Chinese massacre?
[ A(vínia ] Mmm.
- Will you excuse me, please? l have to freshen up. - r CJare J Sure.
[ Sighs ]
[ C(are ] How long were gou and Mort marríed?
[ Alvinia ] ( really don't remember.
- [ Whispering ] - [ Clare ] You don't rememt3er?
You were married to him, and you don't remember how long?
- Don't wory about it. - [ Alvinia ] No.
So l gotta put up a chimney to cary the smoke out.
Why can't the smoke go in the house? Hi, Mort.
Flo, l gotta talk to you - alone.
Screw. Have yourself a whistle. You, take omwith him.
Get her ready. [ Blows ]
- l'll be with you in a while. - Guess what. l got a message from Marty.
- You see Marty? - l'm always looking at Marty.
- Say hello to Marty. - Greatest guy in the world.
- You know what he told me? - There he is.
- That's him. - The two-finger salute.
- It's all right, Marty. - You know what he just told me? Stopped by the table.
- Yeah, what'd he tell ya? - He said the Chinaman is dead.
The Chin -
l thought you'd be happy. Now l'l( gíve you somethíng to cy about.
You gotta go get Vittelli and kill him.
[ Laughing ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ Chattering ]
rApplause, Whístling ]
[ Teddy ] Good evening.
Bonsoir.
Well, l see that the booze is plentíful tonight...
which is good...
because it's good for the house, and what is good for the house is ultímate(y good for yours truly.
Now l shaJl... mesmerize you - all ofyou.
- Hypnotize you. - How's it goin', Sonny?
- Busy. - And make you use your ímagínatíons...
to take you on another trip...
to another day...
to another dream...
another dollar.
lmagination.
# Imagination ,_
# Is funny,\
# It makes a cloudy day,\
# Sunny,\
J \ Makes the bees,\
# Think of honey,\
-,h Just as l ,h - [ Man Whistling ]
-,h Think ofyou ,h - [ WolfWhistle ]
# Imagination ,_
# Is crazy,\
# Your whole perspective,_
# Gets hazy,\
# Starts you asking a daisy,\
J _ What to do,_
_ __ What to do ,_:
- [ Applause ] - ,_: Have you ever felt,__,
.__ A gentle touch ._:
_ __ And then a kiss ,_:
_ __ And then ,h:
.\_ And then rind it's only.?_
.__ Your imagination agaín ._:
- ,h: Oh, we(l,_ - I Applause ]
.__ Imagination ._:
._: Is silly._:
- .h You go around .h, - [ Applause ]
.__ Wi(ly-nilly .h:
.\_ for example .h_,
.__ l go around ._:
.__ Wantíng vou ._:
[ Man ] Take ít offnow.
._: And get ._:
- [ App(ause ] - ,_: l can't,h,
.__ Imagine ._:
Fabulous place.
- Thanks. - ror times deli#ioso.
Good girls.
Just like home. l've been waiting a long time.
l've been playing games. Do you know Match One?
- Five, four, three, two, one. - Yeah.
- Do you play? - Well, not now.
Got a little problem here.
.__._ [ Teddy Continues Singing ]
You know...
l gotta meet some friends at 1 1 :OO.
Maybe you should, like, come along.
We're all fairly interested in your experience.
Well, l'Il tell you about it, vou can tel( them, because, uh...
I don't Feel too hot.
[ Flo ] No one could have pulled that om. l know myself.
- Ten years ago l shoot some Mexican - - [ Cosmo J Hey.
- [ Rachel ] How you doin'? - l'm gonna buy you a diamond ring.
You're kidding. Ooh.
- [ Cosmo ] You love me? - You know l do.
- [ Cosmo ] Say you love me. - l love you. l gotta get back.
_ __ And then ,h:
.\_ And then find it's only your imagination.\_
[ Flo ] l don'twant to keep my friends waiting any longer.
._: Agaín ._:
.\_ Over again .\:.?_
[ Horn Honking ]
[ Horn Honks ]
[ Flo Mutters ]
Anybody home?
You killed the top Chinese dog.
Evey one of his fo(lowers from here to Canarsie and then some...
are on their way to tear your guts out.
That's Mao Tse-tung and Fu Manchu and eveybodg else.
Ah, that ierk Karl Marx said opium was the...
religion of the people.
l got news for him. It's money.
Money. That's - Jesus Christ.
My father was right.
There's nothing wrong with you, Cosmo. Money. Money.
My father was a nice guy. You should have met my father.
He could listen to me like you could.
That's why l like you.
There's not many people that can listen like my father.
- You cy when your Father died? - Ah.
He promised me one thing. He saíd, ''Hey -''
[ Pats Chest ] ''Qon't let 'em buy me.''
Qidn't like the e(ectric company, the gas company, the water company.
Why don't you do yourself a favor and get out of here?
Huh? You're an amateur.
Take a walk.
[ Engine Starts ]
Where are you going?
That's my friend in there. Take care of him.
He's your problem.
Asshole.
[ Mort J Cosmo?
''Cosimodo''? (t's Mort.
[ Horn Honks ]
- Cosmo. - [ Horn Honks ]
Hey, Cosmo.
Sory about that.
ln fact, l'm sory about the whole thing, Cosmo, but, uh...
it couldn't be helped, you know.
l mean, that's why we're here to talk about it.
(t just happened to be you. l like you.
( persona(ly (ike ya. l felt it when l met you. It was ínstincts, ya know.
You've got some kind of guts, man.
You know who that was?
You know who the Chinaman was?
He was the heaviest cat on the West Coast, Cosmo.
You díd what we couldn't do.
l mean, you knew you were set up, dídn't you?
( mean, ít was a plan, and, u_. l was pa_ oF ít. Qut, u_ -
l like myself, you know. l mean...
l believe you could kill me right now, and ifthat's what you want to do...
then, uh, go ahead...
but you've got enough heat on you already, and we can help you.
[ Metal Bangs ]
[ Door Slam Echoes ]
- [ Indistinct ] - r Guns Cocking J
[ Breathing Heavily ]
[ Door Slams Loudly ]
[ Thuds ]
[ Phil ] l think it's about time to make a deal.
Answer me, ya son ofa bitch!
[ Gunshots ]
Vittelli?
Vittelli!
[ Man On Radio J The Dow Jones índustrial average went up -
Because l had to call her at the club...
and tell her there was a accident.
He was hurt.
[ Man On Radio, Indistinct ]
Could you come over a few minutes -
[ Man On Radio ] And now the world at a glance. California congressman -
Because l don't know if he's coming home.
l don't know if you know a doctor orwhatever.
l said l don't know if he's coming home.
Mom, would you get o_the telephone.
[ Man On Radio ] _ashes out at the general assembly.
He - He may ty and call. And iF he calls and the line is busy, he won't call back again.
- Mama, get o_the darn telephone. - l don't know if he's coming home or not.
- Who you talking to an_ay? - Your brother.
Mama.
[ Man On Radio ] Previously owned by Gulf Oil and British Petroleum.
- This makes the way for the first Arab county... - [ Rachel ] Good evening.
to receive _OOO/o ownership ofthis reduced company.
Bo(ogna, Italy. Ernesto Maseratí...
formertop racing driver and founder ofthe Maserati automobile company...
died today at the age of 77.
Te( Aviv. The Israeli defense minister p(ans to ask the U.S....
to speed shípment of F-t 5 fighter planes.
Why isn't your daughter at work?
[ Rachel J Are you seríous?
l mean, there's a show goin' on.
She's my girlfriend, but she also works for me.
[ Rachel J Are you really seríous?
[ Cosmo ] ( mean, people are strugg(ing to keep the show alive.
[ _etty ] Could l have a talk wíth you a moment, please?
- Oh, sure. - r Rachel ] What's happeníng?
Will somebody please tell me what's goin' on.
Don't wory, Rach. l got a lot of insurance.
- l'm serious. What's go - - l gotta go talk to your mother. Shh.
[ Clears Throat ]
Well, now.
l don't know what to think.
l mean, uh -
[ Sighs ] Ah.
l'm not feeling well, to tell you the truth.
l mean, it's not, uh - [ C_uckles ]
My stomach is upset, and l need some, uh -
some, uh -
l don't know what l need.
l don't know.
But, uh...
l, uh, didn't expectthat. l didn't expect a dou_le cross.
You're a funny lady, Betty.
My mother was vey funny, had a great sense of humor.
Yeah, that's right.
She was so Funny, she ran o_with this big, fat butcher.
l don't know where she is.
Uh, but, uh -
Uh -
You're terrific.
You're wonderful.
You know any butchers?
- No. l didn't run o_with no bu - - Oh, no, you didn't -
And ( don't gíve a shit about a... butcher.
That's right. Well, that's what she did.
And my father was, uh -
l don't give a damn about your father.
That's right. Yeah, well, he was a - he was a moron.
- l don't care. - Well, l care!
- Well, l don't! - Well, l do!
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Wheezing Laugh ]
l don't know what to do with my hands. l swear to God.
How long's that co_ee been there? [ Laughing ]
Cosmo, l think what happened...
WaS WrOn_.
And you won't go to the doctor...
because you think you're gonna live...
with the bullet in you.
And l don't want you in my house no more.
Because l'm not strong enough for you.
Okay, babe.
Listen.
l wish you luck in whatever you endeavor.
And l gotta go because there are no rivers here.
Uh -
- ( sti(l love you. - Yeah.
- But you can't stay here no more. - Absolutely.
Because l don't know what's wrong, and l don't know what happened, and l don't want to know.
- l know. - And l don't want to know -
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
- Pay the guy. - Yes, sir.
- [ Audience Clapping Rhythmica(ly ] - ,_ And there's never anyone around ,__
_ __ To hear it,_:
.__ Never anyone around ._:
_ __ To hear it,_:
. ?_ The rirst star.?_
.__ Out tonight ('m safe tonight.__
- .h, ('ll warm your hands and make you smile .h: - [ Whistling J
_ \_ Ooh, ooh ,?_
_ __ Ahh, ahh ,h:
. \_, Ooh .\_ .\_,
r Rhythmic Clapping Continues ]
[ Man 5 Come on!
[ Cosmo ] Now, Teddy...
l'm not kiddin' around.
- [ Woman ] Cosmo, a(l ( want to do is dance. - Wait. Shut up. l'm talking to Teddy.
So, uh...
let's go down, give the customers a show, huh?
- Waitin' to start the show. - [ Cosmo ] Nobody wants theír check this week?
- Yeah. - l do.
- You want your check, don't ya? - Yes.
Let's get our asses downstairs. We got people.
So, (et's go. What's the problem?
What is this depression?
- Huh? - [ Teddy I There's a problem -
- Come on. l know there's a problem. - There's just a misunderstanding, Cosmo.
- Well, what is it? - [ Teddg ] ( don't want to pu(l a big star bit...
but people do come here because l'm...
well, some unique kind of personality, l suppose.
A bit far out, a bit freakish maybe, but -
- Straitlaced. - But - Freakish.
But unique in my own way.
And when things go badly...
who gets the booing?
- l do. But when things go well... - [ Cosmo I T_e music director-
they - they, they, they get the applause and all the cheers...
because they _ash their tits.
- [ A(l Talking At Once ] - [ Woman ] Come on, Teddy.
What are you talking? Look how beautiful they are.
- What's wrong with tits? - [ Woman ] They (ove ít.
- They almost fell oH their chairs it was so great. Are you kidding? - [ Cosmo ] l agree with her.
[ Shery ] There's entirely too much comedy.
- [ Teddy ] And another - - There's too manyjokes.
- l want to do some serious - _ [ All Talking At Once ]
Let us be civil, ladies.
Now, Teddy. Teddy.
- [ Teddy Mutters ] - Eveything takes work.
We'll straighten it out. You know.
You gotta work hard to be comfortable.
Yeah, a lot of people kid themselves, you know.
They - They know when they were born, they know where they're goin'...
they know whether they're gonna go to heaven, whether they're gonna go to hell.
They think they know that. They kid themselves.
Right?
But the only people...
who are, you know, happy...
are the people who are comfo_able.
That's right.
Now, you take, uh, uh, Carol, right?
- r Laughing ] - [ Woman ] Take _er. Take Carol.
[ Imitating Carol ] ''Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.''
[ Woman ] Aw, no.
[ Cosmo J A dingbat, right? A díng-a-ling.
A dingo.
That's what people think she is, 'cause that's the truth they want to believe.
But, uh, you put her in another situation, right?
Put her ín a situation that's tough.
Stress. Where she's up against something, you'll see she's no foo(.
- Right? - r Woman ] A little sílly, but no Fool.
Right. 'Cause what's your truth... is my falsehood.
What's my falsehood is your truth and vice versa.
Well, look. Look at me, right?
l'm only happy when l'm angy...
when l'm sad, when l can play the fool...
when l can be what people want me to be rather than be myself.
- You understand? - [ Teddy ] Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And that takes work.
Gotta work overtime for that.
Yeah. Doesn't matter who you are or what personality you choose.
- [ Woman ] Come on, baby. Silly boy. - ''Come on, baby.'' Choose a personality.
- Get dressed. - Let's go down there and -
- l'll give you a rubdown aRer the show. - Right.
- We'll do a great show... - [ Woman ] Watc_ out.
we'll smile, we'll cy...
big, glistening tears that pour onto the stage...
and we'll make their lives a little happier, huh?
So they won't have to face themselves. They can pretend to be somebody else.
Be happy. Be joyous. Come on. You. Maestro.
- [ Man ] Yes. - Give me the downbeat.
- The downbeat. - .h:.__ r Man Vocalizing Upbeat Tune ]
- Let's go. - ,\:.\_ [ Snapping Fingers Rhythmically ]
- [ Woman ] Come on. - [ Woman #2 ] Come on, Teddy. Get into ít.
#,h [ Vocalizing Continues ]
Come on. Snap those fingers.
\ Wars have come a\code(0144)d wars have gone,\
# Histoy goes on and on ,_
# But ever since this world began ,_
- [ All ].h Love# - ,h, Love not war has conquered man,__,__
Oh, l'm so in love. l'm so in love.
- Look at this. Could you believe this? - Great. Hey. Yeah.
This lovely man gave it to me. Isn't it beautiful?
- Go, Shery. - Ho, ho, ho, ho. You're lovely wíthout that little ring, mg love.
[ Cosmo ] All right. Keep it up. No fooling around. Let's do it clean.
- Come on. Keep going, Tony. - Okay.
Come on.
r Women Chattering ]
[ Tony ] .\_ Caesar foughtto gain control,__,
- Good. Good. - ,! Worldly wealth was Caesar's goa( ,__
.\_ But then C(eo played her hand .?_
- [ Audience Booíng ] - ,h, And love conquered just as p(anned ,__,_:
How many mothers in the house? Let me hear it.
- [ Man ] Fíve. - [ Woman ] T_ree.
Ah, we got some mothers in the house.
Mothers who love their chíldren.
- [ Clapping Rhythmically ] - Got sons who (ove their daughters.
- What a pain in the ass. - [ Laughing ]
Give me a spot!
Give me a spot.
Ah. Right here.
- [ Weak Applause ] - Is that all?
- [ Applause ] - Let me hear it.
Nice.
You know, uh, they say eveything is sex.
Uh, sex is eveything.
Here at the Crazy Horse West...
- we give you a lot more than that. - [ Applause 5
- [ Man ] l'm dyín'. - That's right.
And because ofyour patience, we're gonna start ofl by buying evey one of you a drink.
[ Cheering ]
Put a spotlight on Sonny.
Put a spotlight on Son - Sonny Venice, ladies and gentlemen.
Our bartender. Give him some love, huh?
Sonny Venice.
Love to say that name.
Beautiful name.
And, uh...
the girls that help him here...
are beautiful girls.
Love to take care of people. We have, uh, Rita here. Rita.
[ Applause ]
Rita, you got a drink there?
Let me have that.
- [ Man ] Now what? Come on. - And we have, uh, Virginia. Where's Virginia?
- There she is. - [Applause ]
[ Man ] Come on.
- Where's the girls? - Oh.
Well, l think l should explain why we're a little late. One of our -
- Where's Rachel? - Where are the other girls?
Well, that's it. One of our girls left.
No (onger wíth us.
Uh, Rachel, as a matter of Fact.
Gone on to bigger and better things.
Uh...
she was a black girl.
Black and beautiful.
And l loved her.
And l drink to her.
Now, uh...
Mr. Sophistication...
and his De-Lovelies...
are not gonna take you to Asia.
They're not gonna take you to Europe.
They're not gonna take you to South America.
We're gonna introduce a new number tonight.
He's gonna take you on a w_ole new trip.
And l know you're gonna enjoy it. It's a new number written by our musical director.
Talented guy.
Tony Maggio.
And, uh -
Uh, with any luck, uh...
Mr. Sophistication and his De-Lovelies will be walking down those stairs right now.
Let's give him a big hand - Mr. Sophistication, ladies and gentlemen.
[ App_ause 5
Mr. Sophistication, Iadies and gentlemen.
Well, uh, as you can see, they're prettier than l am.
l'll get offthe stage. Enjoy the show.
[ App_ause 5
[ Teddy ] Well, u_, Detter late t_an never, n!esJ-cepas?
Even at this hourofthe night.
('d like a - a (ollow spot on Cosmo...
and a larger, greater hand for our padrone.
Because he's not only a great nightclub owner -
- [ Applause ] - Quiet. Wait. Wait.
But he also - he also practices...
the best thing there is in this world -
to be comfortable.
Enjoy yourself.
[ Margo ] And now, ladies and gentlemen...
for the vey first time tonight right here on this stage...
the Crazy Horse West is pleased and proud to present to you tonight...
_ our musical director Mr. Tony ''Daggio.''
- [ Woman ] Yea! - [ Cheering ]
[ Rhythmic Clapping ]
# We can't give you anything but love,\
._: Baby ._:
-.h That's the only thing we've plenty of,\ - [ Audience Clappíng _hythmically ]
# Baby #
n Dream awhile; \code(01f4)rovel for it. Grovel.
J \ Scheme awhile,\
-,h You're sure to find ,h - [ Man ] Take it om!
# Happiness great success,\
# All the things you've always whined for,\
J \ Gee, we'd like to see,\
J _ You lookin' swell ,_
# Baby #
# Dolled up, dressed up,\
# Raising Cain and hell ,\
# Baby #
# Till that lucky day,\
J \ You know damn well ,\
# Baby #
# l can't give you anything but,_
# Nothing in this great big world but,\
# l can't give you anything but,_
J \ Love, love, love,\
J \ Hot love,\
J _ Love, love, love Hot love :
# l can't give you autre chose ,\
-,_ But love;,_ - [ Man ] Take itom!
Whoo! You're hot! You're hot! Whoo!
[ Audience Laughing ]
- [ Applause, Whístling ] - EUR Man ] Hev, hev!
[ Man ] More?
- .h ( can't give you anything but love .h: - [ Man ] Yeah!
._: Baby ._:
- .h: That's the only thing I've plenty oF.? - Give us some fire!
._: Baby ._:
h, _ream awhile \code(015a)cheme awhile,_:
- [ Whistle Blowing ] - ,_: You're sure to find,__,
.h _appiness and l guess ,__
- ,?: All the things you've always pined for,? - [ Whistle Blows ]
- [ Man ] Come on. - ,_ Gee, l'd like to see you lookin' swell ,__
._: Baby ._:
- ,h, Oíamond bracelets Woolworth's doesn't sell ,h: - [ Cheeríng ]
._: Baby ._:
.__ Ti(l that lucky day you know darn well ._:
._: Baby ._:
- .h, ( can't give you anything but.h: - [ fthythmic Clapping ]
.__ Nothing ín this great bíg world but._:
- .h, ( can't give you anything but love .h: - ,h, ( can't give you anything but love ,_:
. ? Love, love, love Sweet love .\;
- [ Cosmo I Good evening, ladies and gent(emen. - [ Loud Cheering ]
Where are you?
You're at the Crazy _orse West.
- .! Anything but .h, - [ Cosmo I Hi, ho, Silver, awayt
. \_ Love .\_ .\_,
[ Cosmo ] Ladies and gentlemen...
Crazy Horse West is proud to present...
- Mr. Sophistication... - [ Cheering ]
and his Qe-_ovelies.
Let's give 'em a big hand.
[ Man J Come on back. Come on, Teddy. Come on.
- [ Woman ] Come on, baby. - Call him back.
[ Woman ] Listen, ladies and gent(emen.
Hethinkswe don't love him, butwe reallydo.